June 17, 2011

Government Sex Abuse

RDP writes:

Employee
Notice

Due to the current
financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided
to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early,
mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing
unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People
Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be
considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced
Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed
under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED
twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

Persons
who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for
Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early
Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED
or SCREWED any further by Congress.

Persons who are not RAPED and are
staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity
Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the
amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not
receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who
has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can
handle.

Sincerely,

The Committee for Economic Value of
Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - Due to recent budget cuts and
the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market
conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned
off.

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