Murphy's Law for Police

Murphy’s Laws for Law Enforcement

1. Bullet Proof’ vests aren’t.

2. The bigger they are, the harder they are to
make fall. They also punch, kick and choke harder too.

3. The speed at which you respond to a fight call
is inversely proportional to how long you’ve been on the job.

4. Pepper spray works on cops too, and
regardless of wind direction, will always blow back in your face.

5. High speed chases will always proceed from
an area of light traffic to an area of extremely heavy traffic.

6. If you know someone who tortures animals
and wets the bed, he is either a serial killer or he works in the Chief's Office.

7. Placing a gun back in the holster with
your finger on the trigger will cause you to walk with a limp.

8. Flash suppressors don’t really.

9. If you have `cleared’ all the rooms and met no resistance, you and your entry team have probably kicked in the door of the wrong house.

10. If a cop swings a baton in a fight, he will hit
other cops more often than he will hit the dirt bags he swings at.

11. Domestic arguments will always migrate from an area of few available weapons (living room), to an area with many available weapons. (kitchen).

12. If you punch out a handcuffed prisoner
for spitting at you, you are about to become a star on `Eyewitness News’.

13. Bullets work on old cops too. They also work on weight lifters, martial arts experts,
Firearms Instructors, Detectives, S.W.A.T. jocks, and others who consider themselves
immortal.

14. When a civilian sees a blue/red light approaching at a high rate of speed, he will
always pull into the lane the cop needs to use.

15. If you drive your patrol car to the geometric center of the Gobi Desert, within five minutes
some dumb ass will pull along side you and ask for directions.

16. You can never drive slow enough to please the citizens who don’t need a cop, and you
can never drive fast enough to please the ones who do.

17. Any scum bag with a rifle is a better shot than any cop with a pistol.

18. From behind you, the bad guys can see your
night sights as well as you can.

19. On any call, there will always be more `bad guys’ than there are good guys, and the
farther away your back-up will be.

20. The longer you’ve been a cop, the shorter
your flashlight and your temper gets.

21. Just THINK, whatever you are about to do, if there is a
good chance it will get you killed, you probably shouldn’t do it.

22. You should never do a shotgun search of a
dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is “Boomer.”

23. The better you do your job, the more likely you are to be shot, injured,
complained about, sued, investigated, or subpoenaed on your day off.

24. If a “large group” of drunk bikers are “holed-up” in a house, the Dispatcher will
send one sector car back-up.

If there is “one” biker “holed-up” in a house,
they send the entire S.W.A.T. Team,
GO FIGURE!!!