Cindy Adams and Sherlock Holmes

[From article]

"SHERLOCK Holmes and Dr. Watson on a camping trip.

Late at night, Holmes says: 'Watson, what do you see?'

Watson: 'Thousands of stars.'

Holmes: 'And what's that mean to you?'

Watson: 'We'll have a nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?'

Holmes: 'It's elementary, Watson. It means someone has stolen our tent.'"

http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/cindy_adams/quentin_not_hiding_Qo3w58j3QiFvnsljwJ7ttN

Quentin's not hiding

By CINDY ADAMS

New York Post

Last Updated: 9:27 AM, February 25, 2010

Posted: 1:05 AM, February 25, 2010

It's coming up Oscars. It's coming up<p> </p><br />Quentin Jerome Tarantinoof "Ing lourious Basterds" fame. Born 1963, the Tennessee-born high school dropout has an Oscar, a Golden Globe, BAFTA and Palme d'Or awards, and he's been nominated for an Emmy and a Grammy. Once named Earth's 12th greatest director ever (who the other 11 are, who knows?), he says:<p> </p><br /> "It's exciting to be nominated for an Academy Award, sure, but never ever can be as thrilling as my original experience. That was 1994. The movie was 'Pulp Fiction.' Oh my God, was that exciting. I remember it vividly. I remember everything about it. And I remember my date. A girl named<p> </p><br />Grace. At that one moment, she was the then love of my life. She got all dressed up. She was gorgeous. And we were so wildly excited.<p> </p><br /> "This time I think I'll go alone.<p> </p><br /> "This time I didn't even stay up to watch to see if I was nominated. Not that you can take this for granted or that you don't care. Of course you care. It's simply that you can't replicate that first experience.<p> </p><br /> "So this time everybody had left me alone, and I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up 5:50 and I learned."<p> </p><br /> "Y'know, it's strange. Normally, after I finish some huge project my inclination is to hibernate. For some strange reason, the zeitgeist is inside me. I've come up with a new story that I think will work, and I want to begin writing again as soon as this is all over."<p> </p><br /> LET none forget best-selling cookbook author and TV star chef<p> </p><br />Lidia Bastia nichalso owns A-1 restaurants. Like Felidia on East 58th. The other night, same night,<p> </p><br />Mario Cantone,<p> </p><br />Joan Rivers,<p> </p><br />Barbara Walters. . . So this Hungry in America event with co-host<p> </p><br />Natalie Portman? Smack after her speech she split . . . Where I heard this and why I even heard it I don't know, but I'm told<p> </p><br />Rosie O'Donnell's childhood nickname was "Dolly Bloomer Bottoms" because she wore bloomers instead of shorts. And why, where she was even wearing shorts, I don't know. And why I'm even bothering with this dumb item, I also don't know . . . When<p> </p><br />DiCaprioleft his "Shutter Island" premiere as it began and guests were inside and media had gone, and die-hard fans remained on the street, he signed autographs, answered questions, did photos.<p> </p><br /> SHERLOCK Holmes and Dr. Watson on a camping trip.<p> </p><br /> Late at night, Holmes says: "Watson, what do you see?"<p> </p><br /> Watson: "Thousands of stars."<p> </p><br /> Holmes: "And what's that mean to you?"<p> </p><br /> Watson: "We'll have a nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?"<p> </p><br /> Holmes: "It's elementary, Watson. It means someone has stolen our tent."<p> </p><br /> C<p> </p><br />OLIN Farrellon working with<p> </p><br />Tom Cruise: "First day of shooting, when we were doing 'Minority Report,' I got so nervous. I was dying of nerves. But, then, you meet and talk to him and realize he's just a normal guy living in ridiculous circumstances. OK, he doesn't worry about mortgages and 'Can I pay for a new car?,' but he has the same natural concerns normal people have and he hurts in the same way. I mean, Tom Cruise is a really good bloke."<p> </p><br /> AN extract from an early '60s high school girl's sex education textbook printed in the UK and distributed in Israel:<p> </p><br /> After explaining you cannot keep your "tired husband" waiting, it says: "Prepare for bed promptly. Look your best. Achieve a look that is welcome without being obvious . . . Be led by your husband's wishes. Do not pressure to stimulate intimacy. Should he suggest congress, agree humbly. A man's satisfaction is more important than yours. At his moment of fulfillment, a small moan from yourself is encouraging and sufficient to indicate enjoyment.<p> </p><br /> "Should he suggest more unusual practices, be obedient and uncomplaining. Register reluctance with silence.<p> </p><br /> "Only after he falls asleep, you may apply your face cream or hair rollers, as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night. Set your alarm to rise before him. This enables you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes."<p> </p><br /> Right. Think maybe we should give this to the cast of "The Real Housewives of New Jersey"?<p> </p><br /> READER<p> </p><br />Phyllis Lester, admiring Washington Square Park's sculpture of George Washington, said to the man nearby: "My family fought in the Revolutionary War." Said the man: "My family was from Jamestown."<p> </p><br /> Only in New York, kids, only in New York.<p> </p><br />

Cindy Adams