Political Posters May 24, 2016

Who's Unemployed? Who's On First?

COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America .

ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It’s 5.6%.

COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?

ABBOTT: No, that’s 23%.

COSTELLO: You just said 5.6%.

ABBOTT: 5.6% Unemployed.

COSTELLO: Right 5.6% out of work.

ABBOTT: No, that’s 23%.

COSTELLO: Okay, so it’s 23% unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, that’s 5.6%.

COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 5.6% or 23%?

ABBOTT: 5.6% are unemployed. 23% are out of work.

COSTELLO: If you are out of work you are unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, Obama said you can’t count the “Out of Work” as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.

COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!

ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.

COSTELLO: What point?

ABBOTT: Someone who doesn’t look for work can’t be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn’t be fair.

COSTELLO: To whom?

ABBOTT: The unemployed.

COSTELLO: But ALL of them are out of work.

ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.

COSTELLO: So if you’re off the unemployment roles that would count as less unemployment?

ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!

COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don’t look for work?

ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That’s how it gets to 5.6%. Otherwise it would be 23%.

COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number?

ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.

COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?

ABBOTT: Correct.

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?

ABBOTT: Bingo.

COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to have people stop looking for work.

ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking like a Democrat.

COSTELLO: I don’t even know what the hell I just said!

ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking like Hilary.

Updated: Comedian Garry Shandling, Dead At 66; His Doctor Refuses To Sign Death Certificate

Posted March 25, 2016 5:34 PM ET; Last updated March 27, 2016 10:37 PM ET


Garry Shandling

[From article]
Shandling’s primary physician refuses to sign the death certificate because he has not yet determined a cause of death, according to TMZ. The physician admits he hadn’t seen Shandling in more than a year, but that the actor was healthy as far as he knew.
The LA County coroner will now launch an official investigation to determine the cause of death. Bloodwork from the ER where Shandling was pronounced dead has already been taken into custody,
while investigators have subpoenaed Shandling’s physician for his medical records.

http://pagesix.com/2016/03/27/garry-shandlings-doctor-wont-sign-his-death-certificate/?_ga=1.11226036.1407506085.1437464951

Garry Shandling’s doctor won’t sign his death certificate
By Lindsay Putnam
New York Post
March 27, 2016 | 8:13am

* * *

[From article]
Comedian Garry Shandling, known for “It’s Garry Shandling’s Show” and “The Larry Sanders Show,” died Thursday. He was 66.
Los Angeles Police officer Tony Im told the Associated Press that Shandling died Thursday in Los Angeles. Im said officers were dispatched to Shandling's home Thursday for a reported medical emergency. Shandling was transported to a hospital, where he was pronounced dead.
A coroner's official said late Thursday that Shandling's death appears to be from natural causes and no autopsy is planned. Lt. David Smith told the Associated Press there has been no official cause of death determination yet, but medical records will be used to determine how the 66-year-old comedian died.
An innovative and eccentric humorist with pillowy lips and a voice that always seemed on the verge of a whine, Shandling claimed to disdain too much logic cluttering his life.
"The answer isn't gonna be in the facts," he told The Associated Press in 2009. "It's gonna be in intuition. That's how I work creatively. I'm always teaching people that the answer to that creative question is right here, in the room, between us here."
More to the point, it was dealing with the questions he confronted in himself.
Born on Nov. 29, 1949 in Chicago, Shandling was raised in Tucson, Arizona. On arriving in Los Angeles as a young adult, it was a short hop from a brief stint in the advertising business to comedy writing and stand-up.
Then in the 1980s, he began to experiment with TV comedy, and to toy with the sitcom form, with his first series, "It's Garry Shandling's Show," a Showtime project that made no bones about its inherently artificial nature: the actors in this otherwise standard domestic comedy routinely broke the fourth wall to comment on what they were up to. Even the theme song began with the explanatory lyrics, "The theme to Garry's show...."
Then, in August 1992, Shandling created his comic masterpiece with "The Larry Sanders Show," which starred him as an egomaniacal late-night TV host with an angst-ridden show-biz life behind the scenes.
It was just three months after Carson had retired from "The Tonight Show," where Shandling had appeared as a stand-up and occasional Carson stand-in. It seemed a wry but deeply felt homage to the King of Late Night.
His films included "Hurlyburly" in 1998, "What Planet Are You From?" in 2000 and "Zoolander" in 2001.
He hosted the Emmy Awards in 2000 and 2004.
On the latter occasion, he spotted Donald Trump in the audience and congratulated the billionaire developer for hosting the Emmy-nominated "The Apprentice."
"Nice to see a man who's paid his dues, worked hard," Shandling said. "We all know what it feels like to have to build 80-story condos and gambling casinos just to get our foot in the door in show business."
In his own business dealings, Shandling became one of the rich and famous targeted by private eye Anthony Pellicano, who was sentenced to prison in 2008 on convictions of racketeering and more than six dozen other counts, including conspiracy, wire fraud and wiretapping in the Hollywood wiretaps case.
Pellicano was accused of wiretapping stars such as Sylvester Stallone and bribing police officers to run names of people, including Shandling, through law enforcement databases.

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2016/03/24/comedian-garry-shandling-dead-at-66/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+foxnews%2Fmost-popular+%28Internal+-+Most+Popular+Content%29

Comedian Garry Shandling dead at 66
Published March 24, 2016

FoxNews.com

Abe Vigoda, 94, Dies. Again

Comedian Gilbert Gottfried speaks during the funeral service for Abe Vigoda.

Photo: AP

[From obituary]
Loved ones of actor Abe Vigoda paid him a final curtain call on Sunday, poking fun at and reminiscing about the venerable thespian’s seemingly endless longevity.
Mourners filled Riverside Memorial Chapel with laughs, as if they were roasting the popular actor Vigoda who died Tuesday at the age of 94.
“You know this is the 20th time we’ve buried Abe Vigoda,” comic Gilbert Gottfried said of Vigoa, who lived nearly 34 years after he was erroneously reported to have passed. “Abe was so old, he had a bible that was signed by the author.”Modal Trigger
The infamous 1982 People magazine flub launched a second career for the Brooklyn-born actor, as punchline to a generation of Abe-Vigoda-is-dead jokes.
About 200 mourners, including former mayor David Dinkins and Friars Club roastmaster Jeffrey Ross, attended Vigoda’s memorial.
Two NYPD officers stood at attention flanking a Mahogany casket, with framed portraits of the famed “Barney Miller” star nearby.
[. . .]
In “The Godfather,” Vigoda’s Sal Tessio was planning a betray the Corleone family once Marlon Brando’s Don Corleone died. But before he could arrange the rub out of heir Michael Corleone – played by Al Pacino – the son’s capos got the drop on him.
[. . .]
Vigoda’s character pleaded with Michael Corleone loyalist Tom Hagen, played by Robert Duvall, to be let “off the hook.”
Duvall’s Hagen shook his head and responded, “Can’t do it Sally,” before Tessio is led away and executed.

http://pagesix.com/2016/01/31/abe-vigoda-celebrated-with-laughs-at-funeral-service/?_ga=1.8613557.1407506085.1437464951

Abe Vigoda celebrated with laughs at funeral service
By David K. Li and Reuven Fenton
January 31, 2016 | 4:26pm

Sarah Palin Stars in Video Comedy Spoofing Tina Fey's TV Show

Palin spoofs Fey. 

(Independent Journal)

[From article]
Two days after Tina Fey reprised her impersonation of Sarah Palin on “Saturday Night ” the former Republican vice-presidential candidate turned the tables, spoofing the “30 Rock” star in a Web video titled “31 Rock.”
In it, Palin portrays Liz Lemon’s character, sporting a hoodie and demanding a Big Gulp. “30 Rock” cast member Kevin Brown, who played the character Dot Com on the NBC sitcom, is also featured.
The sketch includes a plug for the tea party firebrand’s new book, “Sweet Freedom,” which Brown calls “a great reminder of the pressures of PC culture.”
“The only PC I need is right here,” Palin replies, raking her hand across her laptop.
[. . .]
On the eve of last week’s GOP debate in Las Vegas, Palin weighed in on the 2016 presidential field, defending Donald Trump’s proposal to ban all Muslims from entering the United States — and blaming the “liberal media” for not allowing the Republican frontrunner to “finish his thought.”
“I think that Trump was trying to finish the conversation that would lead to a pause on immigration in general,” Palin told CNN’s Jake Tapper. “I think that’s where he was going.”
Palin says she hasn’t endorsed anyone yet but is leaning toward either Trump or Texas Sen. Ted Cruz.
“I’m not going to pick one right now, but what a nice problem to have if it came down to Cruz and Trump,” Palin said. “That’s a good problem for voters to have, because we know that, as you say, they are both strong and very decisive and someone who would take the initiative. That is what we need today, and both of those candidates would fit that bill.”

http://news.yahoo.com/palin-spoofs-tina-few-30-rock-video-133337245.html

Sarah Palin spoofs Tina Fey in ‘30 Rock’ parody
‘Where’s my Big Gulp?’

By Dylan Stableford

December 22, 2015 8:33 AM

Yahoo News

https://youtu.be/VSvSDEQY3D8

"31 Rock" Season 1 Trailer, Featuring Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin stars in Independent Journal's new comedy about a small-town TV writer who moves to NYC in hopes of creating a hit variety show. Also starring Kevin Brown (Dot Com), Senator Lindsey Graham and Senator John McCain

Credits:
Director/writer: Kenny Wassus
Director of Photography: Rob Groulx Phil Wolf
Sound: Max Futterman
Producer: Andrew Clark
Executive Producers: Bubba Atkinson Colin Chocola Benny Johnson
Production Assistant: Dave Jorgenson

Jackie Mason Profiles Bernie Sanders

[From article]
“[Sen. Bernie] Sanders is the funniest character in the world,” mused Mason. “Usually when you see a Jew in Brooklyn, as he gets older he runs to Florida. Here is a guy instead of Florida, he did something no Jew ever thought of. He said, ‘You know something? I think I’ll go to Vermont!’ If he told you this while he was in Brooklyn . . . that he is going to wind up running for president from Vermont, do you know what would have happened? They would have thought this man has a mental problem.”

http://pagesix.com/2015/10/17/jackie-mason-bernie-sanders-is-the-funniest-character-ever/?_ga=1.208741138.1407506085.1437464951

Jackie Mason: Bernie Sanders is the funniest character ever
By Ian Mohr
New York Post
October 17, 2015 | 10:22pm

Women in Comedy Documentary Forgot Some Super Stars

Pretty good documentary about comedy and women. I'm no expert but this history omitted the British show That Was The Week That Was, imported to the United States in 1960s. Also no mention of Laugh In which employed all men writers, 1967-73. They did showcase this long list of women on that show.

Goldie Hawn, Ruth Buzzi, Lily Tomlin, Jo Anne Worley, Barbara Sharma, Ann Elder, Judy Carne, Teresa Graves, Pamela Rodgers, Chelsea Brown, Nancie Phillips, Patti Deutsch, Lisa Farringer, Sarah Kennedy, Donna Jean Young, Mitzi McCall, Eileen Brennan, guests Zsa Zsa Gabor, Jill St. John, Pamela Austin, Carol Channing, Dinah Shore, Greer Garson, Debbie Reynolds, Phyllis Diller (4), Lena Horne. Arlene Dahl, Cher, Nanette Fabray, Connie Stevens, Janet Leigh, Nancy Sinatra, Inga Neilsen, Sandy Duncan, Sue Ane Langdon, Sally Field, Diana Ross, Mitzi Gaynor, Sivi Aberg, Kaye Ballard, Rosemary Clooney, Gina Lollobrigida, Ann Miller, more.

[Laugh In source]
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062601/fullcredits/

Also not mentioned was the risque performer Belle Barth, born 1911, Annabelle Salzman, died 1971. She performed in the 1950s, 1960s and appeared on the Mike Douglas TV show 1962. She had at least one album, If I Embarrass You, Tell Your Friends.  

* * *

Originally broadcast September 30, 2014
Makers Women in Comedy

* * *

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/9699468/That-Was-The-Week-That-Was-is-50.html

That Was The Week That Was is 50
Satirical comedy That Was The Week That Was celebrates the 50th anniversary of its first broadcast tomorrow.
By Ben Bryant
5:23PM GMT 23 Nov 2012

* * *

http://splitsider.com/2012/05/that-was-the-week-that-was-brings-political-satire-to-america/

‘That Was the Week That Was’ Brings Political Satire to America
BY RAMSEY ESS
MAY 18, 2012

Comedian Writes Book Explaining How To Be Funny, Hahaha

This is like teaching leadership and how to be a great teacher. Great business model. Henry Louis Mencken revealed, "No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people." Best comment about humorless people--"They need the witless protection program."

[From article]
Wit privilege refers to societal privileges that benefit witty people in ways that are unavailable to the witless. It continues to be a potent force in the United States. The witty elite use jokes and anecdotes to win elections, spread ideologies, and market their services and wares. All too often, the witless are the butts of the jokes. They are at a severe disadvantage in virtually every area of their sad lives.
Witty people are more likeable, more popular, and have greater social status. They tend to be cheerful, and they receive more respect and better service across the board. From bankers to beauticians, from the police to pediatricians, from clerks to computer techs, people who provide services of any kind prefer to do business with funny people rather than the grumpy.
The witty are also considered more attractive than the witless. That’s why comedians never have problems finding spouses, or second, or third, or fourth spouses. A review of personal ads will inevitably show that the most desired trait for a potential date is a good sense of humor. Nobody writes personal ads like this: “Seeking somber person to engage in serious conversation. Must hate laughter.”
[. . .]
People who know how to tell jokes and enjoy a good laugh live happier and healthier lives. The witty are able to handle stress and anxiety better than the witless. Laughter is widely regarded as the best medicine, and the witty get it for free. The primary reason comedy isn’t part of healthcare is that they want to keep it to themselves. Meanwhile, people who suffer from humor deficiency pay exorbitant amounts for the prescription and non-prescription drugs they need just to get through the day.
[. . .]
It is deplorable that humorous people have advantages over people who are not funny and who may never become funny. People born witless are human beings entitled to the same freedoms and opportunities as the witty.
The longstanding and systemic abuses of power enabled through wit privilege are a form of discrimination which must be addressed. In the interest of fairness and decency, if an equitable solution cannot be found, the laughter must stop.

Humor 101: How To Tell Jokes (kindle)

http://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2015/06/wit_privilege_and_americas_war_on_the_witless.html

June 4, 2015
Wit Privilege and America's War on the Witless
By Danny Murphy

Humorous Mechanics For Qantas Airlines Keep Planes Flying

Mechanic's Log
Quotes from the repair log of Qantas airline mechanics

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

White House Tells the Best Jokes

[From article]

If there's one thing we can count on from President Obama at the White House Correspondents' Association dinner every year, it's him making jokes about being Muslim, foreign-born and socialist.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-fix/wp/2015/04/26/obama-jokes-about-being-a-socialist-kenya-born-muslim-at-every-whcd/?postshare=6191430137916894

Did you hear the one about the Muslim, socialist, Kenyan president? The joke Obama can’t stop telling.
By Hunter Schwarz

April 26, 2015

Washington Post

Not Enough Race Hustlers In The US, Comedy Central Imports Them

[From article]
On Monday, Comedy Central announced that South African comedian Trevor Noah would be replacing Jon Stewart as host of The Daily Show. To get a feel for Noah's brand of humor, one could simply watch his debut on the fake news show in December of 2014, when he jokingly declared that present-day America had worse race relations than Apartheid South Africa. After introducing Noah as the show's newest contributor at the time, Stewart noted: "And I know that you flew in, I guess, yesterday from South Africa." Noah replied: "Yeah, I just flew in and boy are my arms tired....No, no, seriously, I've been holding my arms like this since I got here." He made the completely discredited "Hands Up, Don't Shoot" gesture with his hands and added: "I never thought I'd be more afraid of police in America than in South Africa. It kind of makes me a little nostalgic for the old days back home."
[. . .]
Later in the exchange, Stewart wondered: "But you're not saying that things in Africa are better than they are in America, are you?" Noah responded: "No, no, no, I'm not saying that – you guys are saying that."
[. . .]
With Nightly Show host Larry Wilmore having already taken over Stephen Colbert's time slot, the addition of Noah may give Comedy Central a full hour of late-night race-baiting.

http://newsbusters.org/blogs/kyle-drennen/2015/03/30/new-daily-show-host-joked-us-worse-apartheid-south-africa

New Daily Show Host Joked U.S. Worse Than Apartheid South Africa
By Kyle Drennen

March 30, 2015 | 4:53 PM EDT

* * *


Anti Semitic Host of TV Show From South Africa

[From article]
Yesterday, the Jewish Telegraphic Agency appeared to be the first media outlet to notice a disturbing tweet from Comedy Central’s new hire Trevor Noah, who is pegged to replace Jon Stewart as host of the Daily Show:

South Africans know how to recycle like israel knows how to be peaceful.
Trevor Noah (@Trevornoah) June 2, 2010

Late this evening, author and former Conservative MP Louise Mensch found several more:

Behind every successful Rap Billionaire is a double as rich Jewish man. #BeatsByDreidel
— Trevor Noah (@Trevornoah) May 7, 2012

http://pjmedia.com/tatler/2015/03/30/does-jon-stewarts-replacement-trevor-noah-have-a-jewish-problem/

Does Jon Stewart’s Replacement, Trevor Noah, Have a Jewish Problem?
Comedy Central has a PR problem after tweets surface from their "bold" choice.
by David Steinberg
March 30, 2015 - 9:03 pm

* * *

[From article]
South African comedian Trevor Noah was announced as Jon Stewart's "Daily Show" successor on Monday, but on Tuesday there was a growing backlash over Noah's Twitter account, which is filled with anti-Semitism and misogyny, critics said.

http://www.newsmax.com/newswidget/trevor-noah-backlash-anti-semitic-misogynist/2015/03/31/id/635502/?Dkt_nbr=13E39-1&nmx_source=Boston_Herald&nmx_medium=widget&nmx_content=317&nmx_campaign=widgetphase2

Trevor Noah Backlash Grows as Anti-Semitic, Misogynist Posts by New 'Daily Show' Host Surface
Tuesday, 31 Mar 2015 10:47 AM
By Nick Sanchez

Making The Easy Difficult, Rube Goldberg's Law

Rube Goldberg

[From article]
“The Inventions of Lucifer Gorgonzola Butts” first appeared in the January 26, 1929, issue of Collier’s. “In my cartoons,” Rube noted, “Professor Butts invented elaborate machines to accomplish such Herculean tasks as shining shoes, opening screen doors, keeping moths out of clothes closets, retrieving soap in the bathtub and other innocuous problems. Only, instead of using the scientific elements of the laboratory, I added acrobatic monkeys, dancing mice, chattering false teeth, electric eels, whirling dervishes and other incongruous elements.”
[. . .]
These oblong-shaped satires took on a life of their own. Dr. Seuss acknowledged his colleague’s influence in a cartoon signed “Rube Goldbrick.” In the early 1930s, “Rube Goldberg” entered the Merriam-Webster dictionary as an adjective defined as “accomplishing something simple through complicated means.” Engineering majors in colleges across the country began to sketch their own “Rube Goldberg” inventions.
[. . .]



a 1970 retrospective of Goldbergiana at the Smithsonian Institution. The exhibit, titled Do It the Hard Way, featured drawings, sculpture, writings, and memorabilia, as well as a documentary film about a career that spanned the century.
[. . .]
The New York Timeseditorialized that Goldberg’s “message is a lasting one: Beware of the all-knowing computers, supersonic gadgets and the rest of the hardware. Beware, too, of the proponents who aim to dominate the human element in life.” The Chicago Sun-Times stated that Goldberg’s “fantastically complicated devices to achieve ludicrously simple ends are today more profound commentaries on our times than they were when his mischievous mind first conceived them several generations ago.” Other papers joined the chorus, and then the cartoonists had their say. Karl Hubenthal was typical. In the Los Angeles Herald Examiner, he pictured Goldberg at heaven’s gate. Saint Peter operates it by means of a contraption involving a rabbit, a pistol, a sailboat, a candle, a boiling kettle, a spool, and a length of string.
[. . .]



Theta Tau, the oldest and largest professional engineering fraternity in the U.S., initiated the annual Rube Goldberg Machine Contest in 1989. According to the rules, said machine must be constructed of real materials and use at least 20 steps to accomplish its task within two minutes. Past winners include Screw a Light Bulb into a Socket; Toast a Slice of Bread; and Select, Mark, and Cast an Election Ballot. In 1995, the U.S. Postal Service issued a 32-cent stamp, “Rube Goldberg’s Inventions,” featuring the Automatic Napkin Machine, first drawn in 1931.

http://www.city-journal.org/2015/25_1_urb-rube-goldberg.html

STEFAN KANFER
The Alphabet of Satire
Rube Goldberg was a laugh machine for seven decades.
Winter 2015

Jon Stewart Retires From Misleading A Generation

Bill O’Reilly and Jon Stewart onstage at O’Reilly Vs. Stewart 2012: The Rumble In The Air-Conditioned Auditorium.
Photo: Getty Images

[From article]
Brian Williams lied about his personal exploits a few times. Jon Stewart was unabashedly and habitually dishonest.
Though Stewart has often claimed he does a “fake news show,” “The Daily Show” isn’t that. It’s a real news show punctuated with puns, jokes, asides and the occasional moment of staged sanctimony.
It contains real, unstaged sound bites about the days’ events and interviews about important policy matters.
[. . .]
Get both sides of the story?
Hey, I’m just a comedian, man. Try to be responsible about what the real issues are? Dude, that’s too heavy, we just want to set up the next d- -k joke.
[. . .]
College students, of course, are both little acquainted with realities of adult existence and walled off from conservative views, so they’re the perfect audience for Stewart’s shtick, which depends on assumptions that are as unquestioned as they are false.
[. . .]


Jon Stewart’s defense of Brian Williams was “The Daily Show” in a nutshell — laugh off a scandal and change the subject.

Photo: Getty Images
If Stewart were a public defender, he’d be even funnier than he is as a comic.
What judge or jury could fail to bust out laughing if a defense attorney said, “I have no rebuttal of any of the charges against my client, but lots of other people not in this courtroom are guilty of stuff, too!”
[. . .]
Liberal comics make things up, liberal journalists chortle and praise and internalize the lies.
[. . .]
Brian Williams has become a joke for telling lies, but Jon Stewart is a liar for the way he told jokes.

http://nypost.com/2015/02/15/how-jon-stewart-turned-lies-into-comedy-and-brainwashed-a-generation/

How Jon Stewart turned lies into comedy and brainwashed a generation
New York Post
By Kyle Smith
February 15, 2015 | 6:00am

Suspects in Paris Mass Media Shootings, Were Known to Police, Had Terror Convictions

Images identifying two brothers, both of them French nationals, that were wanted in connection to the Paris terror attack.

Not to be boring, but again authorities knew of the terror connections of these men. Still they were not under surveillance. Surely no one was harassing them. But in Cambridge, MA, where academics rule and set public safety priorities, local police, crime family associates, Communists, FBI informants, Harvard University campus police and building superintendents take turns keeping 24/7 surveillance and harassment of a 70-year-old white male for 44 years. Adding concurrent relentless character assassination, they keep him isolated, after destroying his social, economic and political support systems. Spineless and clueless leaders everywhere.  

[From article]
One of the men, 35-year-old Cheriff Kouachi, was convicted on terrorism charges in 2008.
Two of the suspects, brothers Cheriff and Said Kouachi, 32, are French nationals who were born to Algerian parents in Paris. The nationality of a third man, Hamid Mourad, 18, is unknown; police believe he is a high school student.
Their names circulated on Facebook and Twitter for an hour before French authorities confirmed that the Kouachi brothers had been identified.
One of the officials who spoke to the Associated Press said they were linked to a Yemeni terrorist network.
The officials spoke on condition of anonymity because they weren't authorized to publicly discuss the sensitive and ongoing investigation.
The older brother was arrested in Paris in January 2005 when he was caught trying to fly to Damascus, Syria, on his way to join the Iraqi insurgency, according to a 2008 Bloomberg report. Cheriff Kouachi reportedly told a court that he was inspired by detainee abuse by U.S. troops at Baghdad's infamous Abu Ghraib prison, though he was relieved he was stopped, according to the Bloomberg report.
A 2005 Pittsburgh Tribune Review report, citing Kouachi's lawyer, said the would-be terrorist was not religious, drank alcohol, smoked marijuana, had premarital sex with his girlfriend and had a job delivering pizzas. At the time, Kouachi had learned "the basics" on how to handle Kalashnikovs, Le Monde reported.
He was convicted in 2008 of terrorism charges for helping funnel fighters to Iraq's insurgency and given a three-year sentence, half of which was suspended.

http://mashable.com/2015/01/07/charlie-hebdo-suspects/#:eyJzIjoidCIsImkiOiJfMDhlcHZ0N3llaDFpbzBobjBrb2xtdF8ifQ

Suspects in Paris attack were on police radar for years
By Brian Ries
January 7, 2015

Are We Losing The Word Schmuck?????

Can you believe we might lose "SCHMUCK"?

NEW YORK-Saying he could no longer stand idly by while a vital part of American culture is lost forever, activist and Broadway producer Mel Brooks has founded a private nonprofit organization dedicated to preserving the word "schmuck."

An emotional Brooks stopped short of kvetching at a schmuck fundraiser Monday.

"Schmuck is dying," a sober Brooks said during a 2,000-person rally held in his hometown of Williamsburg, Brooklyn Monday. "For many of us, saying 'schmuck' is a way of life. Yet when I walk down the street and see people behaving in foolish, pathetic, or otherwise schmucky ways, I hear only the words 'prick' and 'douche bag.' I just shake my head and think, 'I don't want to live in a world like this.'"

The nonprofit, Schmucks For Schmuck, has compiled schmuck-related data from the past 80 years and conducted its own independent research on contemporary "schmuck" usage. According to Brooks, the statistics are frightening: Utterances of the word "schmuck" have declined every year since its peak in 1951, and in 2006, the word was spoken a mere 28 times-17 of these times by Brooks himself. The study indicates that today, when faced with a situation in which one can use a targeted or self-deprecating insult to convey a general feeling of disgust, people are 50 times more likely to use the word "jerk" than "schmuck," 100 times more likely to use "dick," and 15,000 times more likely to use "f******g a**shole."

Perhaps more startling, only 23 percent of men know what schmuck means, and only 1.2 percent of these men are under the age of 78. If such trends continue, Brooks estimates that by 2015, such lesser-used terms as "imbecile," "dummy," "schlub," and "contemptible ne'er-do-well" will all surpass schmuck, which is projected to completely disappear by the year 2020 or whenever Brooks dies.

"We must save this word!" Brooks said to thunderous applause as those in attendance began chanting "Schmuck! Schmuck! Schmuck!" "How will we be able to charmingly describe someone who acts in an inappropriate manner? Especially given the tragic loss of the word 'schmegeggie' in 2001. So I urge you: Tonight, when you get home, please, call up your family, your friends, your loved ones, and tell them they're a bunch of schmucks."

Hundreds turned out at a Boca Raton, FL demonstration to show their support for the dying word.

"I've never told anyone this before," Brooks added, choking back tears, "but my father was a schmuck."

The foundation has already raised more than $20 million, thanks to donations from supporters such as Jackie Mason, Albert Brooks, the Schtupp Institute, Sen. Russ Feingold (D-WI), and the Henny Youngman Endowment for the Preservation of Schmekel. The money will go toward projects aimed at reintegrating "schmuck" into the English lexicon, including billboards and flyers plastered with the word "schmuck," the upcoming 5K Schlep for Schmuck Awareness, and a new Mel Brooks film.

"The world cannot afford to lose this valuable and versatile word," Brooks told reporters during a charity auction in Manhattan's Upper West Side Tuesday, where attendees bid for the chance to have a private lunch with Brooks and repeatedly call him a schmuck. "You can be a poor schmuck, a lazy schmuck, a dumb schmuck, or just a plain old schmuck. A group of people can be collectively referred to as schmucks. You can call someone a schmuck, and you can be called a schmuck. You can even call yourself a schmuck." Plus, it's just so fun to say, Brooks added. "Schmuck."

Many of the foundation's volunteers say they share Brooks' passion for the word "schmuck," as well as his outrage that it is slowly disappearing from everyday use. They claim that if they do not act now, the trend could create a snowball effect.

"Today it's schmuck, tomorrow it might be toochis," said SFS volunteer Harry Steinbergman, 82. "What's next, schlemiel? Putz? Schlimazel?"

Steinbergman went on to classify this scenario as farcockteh.

It's scary. In the future, how will someone get my attention?

What If Jimmy Carter said . . .

Warning. This is humor. Lots of profanity, but very funny. 

http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-got-what-america-needs-right-here,11356/

I Got What America Needs Right Here
Issue 44•02 • Jan 9, 2008
The Onion
By Jimmy Carter

Jay Leno Too Funny, Too Old?

[From article]
“The main thing is to get people from 18 to 42 watching your station, and for 18 to 40, [Leno] is considered oldie,” Mason continued, on Leno’s release. “Obama had nothing to do with it; it’s all the age, it’s all the age range. The whole idea is to get the young people to watch, and they assume the 20-year-olds are buying everything and if you’re over 50 you’re buying nothing. They’re too stupid to realize that in fact the opposite is true. How many times do you see a 23-year-old person with a Rolls Royce?”

http://www.wnd.com/2014/03/jackie-mason-leno-fired-because-hes-too-old/

JACKIE MASON: LENO FIRED BECAUSE HE'S TOO OLD
'Tonight Show' veteran says NBC 'stupid' for requiring younger host
Drew Zahn
March 2, 2014

Comedy Genius Sid Caesar Dead at 91

[From article]
“Real life is the true comedy,” he said in a 2001 interview with The Associated Press. “Then everybody knows what you’re talking about.”
[. . .]
“As wild an idea as you get, it won’t go over unless it has a believable basis to start off with,” he told The Associated Press in 1955. “The viewers have to see you basically as a person first, and after that you can go on into left field.”
[. . .]
His first TV comedy-variety show, “The Admiral Broadway Revue,” premiered in February 1949. But it was off the air by June. Its fatal shortcoming: unimagined popularity. It was selling more Admiral television sets than the company could make, and Admiral, its exclusive sponsor, pulled out.

http://nypost.com/2014/02/12/sid-caesar-comic-genius-of-1950s-television-dies/

Sid Caesar, comic genius of 1950s television, dies
By Associated Press
New York Post
February 12, 2014 | 3:55pm

Fly In The Coffee

WHEN A FLY FALLS INTO A CUP OF COFFEE....

The Italian - throws the cup against the wall, breaks it and walks away in a fit of rage!

The German - carefully washes the cup, sterilizes it and makes a new cup of coffee.

The Frenchman - takes out the fly and drinks the coffee.

The Chinese - eats the fly and throws away the coffee.

The Russian - drinks the coffee with the fly, since it came with no extra charge.

The Israeli - sells the coffee to the Frenchman, sells the fly to the Chinese, sells the cup to the Italian, drinks a cup of tea and uses the extra money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee.

Meanwhile, the Palestinian - blames the Israeli for the fly falling into his coffee, protests the act to the UN as an act of aggression, takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives and then blows up the coffee house where the Italian, Frenchman, Chinese, German and Russian are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give his cup of tea to the Palestinian!

A Critic's Hilarious View Of The MA Governor

http://bostonherald.com/news_opinion/columnists/howie_carr/2013/11/carr_deval_patrick_just_put_it_on_my_er_taxpayers_tab

Carr: Deval Patrick: Just put it on my – er, 
taxpayers’ tab
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Boston herald
By: Howie Carr