White House Tells the Best Jokes

[From article]

If there's one thing we can count on from President Obama at the White House Correspondents' Association dinner every year, it's him making jokes about being Muslim, foreign-born and socialist.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-fix/wp/2015/04/26/obama-jokes-about-being-a-socialist-kenya-born-muslim-at-every-whcd/?postshare=6191430137916894

Did you hear the one about the Muslim, socialist, Kenyan president? The joke Obama can’t stop telling.
By Hunter Schwarz

April 26, 2015

Washington Post

Two Fired At Newspaper For Prank About Police Shooting

Romenesko

[From article]
A Kentucky newspaper fired two staffers on Thursday for adding a sentence into Thursday's edition that said local police officers get into the profession "because they have a desire to shoot minorities."
"No reasonable excuse exists for the horrible mistake that occurred Thursday in The News-Enterprise," editor Ben Sheroan wrote in an editorial for the Elizabethtown paper, which also ran a retraction of the original article.
"As a result, the two people involved were fired," he wrote.
Reporting on a statement by Hardin County Sheriff John Ward, the article was supposed to paraphrase him saying that people join law enforcement “because they have a desire to serve the community.”
Ward told local station WLKY that he reached out to Sheroan after he saw the "minorities" line.
Media blogger Jim Romenesko reported that the sentence was a "prank" by one copy staffer that was left uncorrected by another.

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/kentucky-newspaper-prank-cops-shoot-minorities

Kentucky Newspaper Fires Staffers Over 'Prank' About Cops Shooting Minorities
ByBRENDAN JAMES
Published JANUARY 9, 2015, 10:31 AM EST

Marriage Jokes

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
'Me neither doc,' said the husband.
'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'

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An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with

for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have

to tell me the exact words that were used to

put the curse on you.'
The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'

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While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
'What do you think?' I asked.. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
'Better get a bikini,' he replied 'You'd never get it all in one.'
He's still in intensive care.