New PC Verbalisms

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES. '


You must now refer to them as

APPALACHIAN- AMERICANS.


And, furthermore. ..
 

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
 
1.  She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' -
She is a
'BREASTED AMERICAN.'
 
2.  She is not 'EASY' - She is

'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'

 
3.  She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' -
She is a

'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE  INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. '
 

4.  She has not 'BEEN AROUND' -
She is a

'PREVIOUSLY- ENJOYED COMPANION.'
 

5.  She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes

'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'
 

6.  She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' She is a

'LOW COST PROVIDER.'
 

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE  POLITICALLY CORRECT:
 

1.  He does not have a 'BEER GUT'...
He has developed a

'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
 

2.  He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is

'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'
 

3.  He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He

'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. '
 

4.  He is not 'BALDING' - He is in

'FOLLICLE  REGRESSION.'
 

5.  He does not act like a 'TOTAL  ASS ' - He develops a case of

RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'