Showing posts with label Elderly. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Elderly. Show all posts

August 31, 2015

God's Plan For Aging




http://www.livewithjt.com/content/the-good-stuff/1283-god-s-plan-for-aging.html

God's plan for aging

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that
seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their
glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked
down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors
lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend,
reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would
have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom,
thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was
good.

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember
it’s God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you
mutter under your breath.

Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older

#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 Life is sexually transmitted.
#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell
them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe
years.
#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the
hospital, dying of nothing.
#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.
#2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a
burning issue tomorrow.

Don't ignore this message. This is your only warning.

July 18, 2015

New York Lawyer Arrested For Removing Landlord's Cameras Used To Watch Elderly Tenant, Client



Attorney Arthur Schwartz
Photo: Steven Hirsch
[From article]
“I am the guardian for a [93-year-old] woman who is being harassed by her landlord. All I did was abate the harassment and turn the materials over to the AG’s ,” said Arthur Schwartz. “I don’t think I needed permission.”
He was released from Manhattan Criminal Court on his own recognizance.
Last month, Schwartz removed the cameras at Ruth Berk’s rent-stabilized apartment at 95 Christopher St. because he believed the landlord was using them to intimidate her to move out. Building manager Sophia Lamas filed a complaint alleging he swiped $4,000 worth of equipment.

http://nypost.com/2015/07/15/lawyer-in-cuffs-after-removing-cameras-from-elderly-womans-building/

Lawyer in cuffs after removing cameras from elderly woman’s building
By Lia Eustachwich
New York Post
July 15, 2015 | 12:34am

June 12, 2015

Bicyclist Hits NYC Woman, 67, Leaves Scene




[From article]
Police are looking for a bicyclist who hit a 67-year-old woman on a Manhattan street, then pedaled away, leaving the woman to bleed and seize on the ground, her daughter says.
The cyclist hit Mary Grace Belfi just after she parked her car on First Avenue and 86th Street Tuesday afternoon. She and her daughter were heading to lunch, and Belfi was crossing a bike lane on First Avenue to bring a muni-meter ticket back to the car when she was hit, her daughter said. 
[. . .]
Lilly Belfi said the bike was red with white front shocks; the cyclist was wearing denim shorts with knee braces, a blue T-shirt, a brown cap and a blue-and-white helmet.

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Bicyclist-Hits-Woman-Unconscious-Upper-East-Side-Victim-Intensive-Care-307055071.html

Woman in Intensive Care After Being Struck by Fleeing Bicyclist on Upper East Side: Police, Family
By Roseanne Colletti
Published at 6:38 PM EDT on Jun 11, 2015
Updated 10:00 AM June 12, 2015

February 20, 2015

Florida Police Raid Wrong House, 90 Year-Old Woman, Won't Admit They Were Wrong




[From article]
A 90-year old’s home was destroyed by police conducting a raid but it appears they got the wrong house.
The elderly woman shared her story of terror and what police are doing to clean up the mess.
She’s called Riviera Beach home for 25 years, but back on December 18th around 1 p.m., the 90-year-old woman, who asked not to be identified, had some uninvited guests.
[. . .]
Police searched the home with drug sniffing dogs but came up empty-handed.
“I’ve never been arrested, never been in jail,” said the 90-year old.
Riviera Beach Police said the search warrant was executed at the correct address and while the resident may not have had any knowledge of drugs being sold from her home, it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

http://miami.cbslocal.com/2015/02/17/police-raid-90-year-old-womans-home-find-nothing/

Police Raid 90-Year Old Woman’s Home Apparently By Accident
February 17, 2015 5:48 PM
Eliott Rodriguez

January 30, 2015

IRS Refuses To Allow 94-Year-Old Veteran To File Tax Return, Says He's Dead



Siegfried Meinstein, 94, is reportedly trying to prove to the IRS that he is still alive. 
(COURTNEY HERGESHEIMER/COLUMBUS DISPATCH)
[From article]
There is a 94-year-old World War II vet in Ohio who just wants to pay his taxes but can't because the IRS says he’s dead.
Siegfried Meinstein has been unable to convince the IRS he is alive, living in an assisted living facility near Columbus, Ohio. The IRS has told the nonagenarian it can’t process his tax return because their records indicate he is deceased.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/01/25/4-year-old-vet-cant-file-tax-return-because-irs-says-dead/

94-year-old vet can't file tax return because IRS says he's dead
Published January 25, 2015

December 12, 2013

Police Imposter Stealing Money From Elder Women




[From article]
A thief impersonating cops has ripped off at least 24 elderly women in the city’s toniest neighborhoods to the tune of at least $420,000, police said.
The suspect allegedly first preyed upon an elderly woman on the Upper West Side on June 3, 2011, pretending to be a New York City cop who was investigating her bank account. He convinced the woman he needed some of her money to proceed with the investigation, police said.

http://nypost.com/2013/12/12/fake-cop-preying-on-elderly-women-to-steal-cash-nypd/

‘Fake cop’ preying on elderly women to steal cash: NYPD
By Kirstan Conley
New York Post
December 12, 2013 | 1:33pm

August 19, 2011

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD

A helpful hint that may come in handy some day.

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD, AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE .

George Phillips, an elderly man, from Walled Lake, Michigan, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"

He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.

Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available"


George said, "Okay."

He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both, the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up.

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

August 10, 2011

Man Shot in Elderly Housing Project

This gunman was a resident in an elderly subsidized housing building in Boston with licensed guns. After shooting a man in a wheelchair who later died, he allegedly opened fire on uniformed Boston police officers. Was anyone watching this gunman? Meanwhile in Cambridge, criminals employed by local police, next town police, Boston police, FBI informants, university campus cops and the landlord conduct a brutal campaign of harassment, 24/7 surveillance and character assassination for personal and political reasons. Is this a rational use of taxpayer funded police resources?
[See also this biased report on WFXT-TV FOX25 Boston at
http://enoughroomvideo.blogspot.com/2011/08/fox25-wfxt-tv-boston-ma-bias.html

http://bostonherald.com/news/regional/view.bg?articleid=1357772

One dead after Brighton standoff
By Marie Szaniszlo, Natalie Sherman And O’Ryan Johnson
Boston Herald
Wednesday, August 10, 2011

August 8, 2011

Sex Jokes for The Elderly

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX
Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

LOUD SEX
A wife went in to see a therapist and said,
"I've got a big problem, doctor.
Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes,
he lets out this ear splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural.
I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"

QUIET SEX
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife
during a recent lovemaking session,
"How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?"
She glanced at him and replied, "You're never home!"

CONFOUNDED SEX
A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic.
The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small,
$6,500 for "medium, and $14,000 for "large."
The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him
to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision.
The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options.
The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected.
"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.
"She'd rather remodel the kitchen."

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their
40th wedding anniversary. The husband yelled, "When you die, I'm getting
you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah," she replies, "when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.' "

WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX
My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said,
"This will make you happy tonight."
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom,
I squirted it all over the doorknobs.
He couldn't get back in.

ELDERLY SEX
One night, an 87 year-old woman came home from Bingo and found
her 92 year-old husband in bed with another woman.
She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony
of their 20th floor, assisted living apartment, killing him instantly.
Brought before the court on the charge of murder,
the judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense.
She began coolly, "Yes, your honor. I figured that at 92, if he could have sex...
he could also fly."

October 12, 2010

Obama Removes Protections from Vulnerable

[From article]
"ObamaCare is the health component of an overall move to make more people dependent on government. In the last two years, we've seen a breathtaking expansion of food stamps, Medicaid, welfare and housing programs. One in six Americans depends on them.
[. . .]
Higher premiums are bad enough, but to see the older generation victimized in order to expand a welfare culture is a total reversal of American values."

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/opinion/opedcolumnists/obamacare_redistribution_of_health_TMnDtf46D3hnBOKYee7oGL

ObamaCare's redistribution of health
Betsy McCaughey
New York Post
Last Updated: 4:31 AM, September 27, 2010
Posted: 11:43 PM, September 26, 2010

September 18, 2010

Elderly Confession

An elderly man walks into a confessional. He tells the Priest:

Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children,
grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college
girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them
three times.'
Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'
Man: 'What sins?'
Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'
Man: 'I'm Jewish.'
Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'
Man: 'I'm 92 years old; I'm telling everybody!'

April 7, 2010

How Old are You?

[Unknown source]

'Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you
were growing up?'
'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him.
'All the food was slow.'
'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?'
'It was a place called 'at home,'' I explained. !
'Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down
together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate
I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'
By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to
suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I
had to have permission to leave the table.
But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood
if I figured his system could have handled it :
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, never wore Levis, never set
foot on a golf course, never traveled out of the country or had a credit card.
In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card.
The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck.
Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.
My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we
never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds,
and only had one speed, (slow)
We didn't have a television in our house until I was 19.
It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at
midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came
back on the air at about 6 a..m. and there was usually a locally produced
news and farm show on, featuring local people.
I was 21 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie..'
When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid
off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's
still the best pizza I ever had.
I never had a telephone in my room.
The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party
line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people
you didn't know weren't already using the line.
Pizzas were not delivered to our home But milk was.
All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers
--my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a
paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6AM every morning.
On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His
favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the
change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be
home on collection day.
Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the
movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly
produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most
anything offensive.
If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want
to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren Just
don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.
Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?
MEMORIES from a friend :
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and
he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a
stopper with a bunch of holes in it.. I knew immediately what it was, but my
daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or
something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board
to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.

How many do you remember?
Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
Real ice boxes.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.

Older Than Dirt Quiz : Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about. Ratings at the bottom.
1. Blackjack chewing gum
2.Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines on the telephone
8 Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11... TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels.... [if you were fortunate])
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15. S& H greenstamps
16. Hi-fi's
17. Metal ice trays with lever
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulb
20. Packards
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,
If you remembered 16-25 = You' re older than dirt!

January 16, 2010

Myopia is as Myopia Does


Carol Cox says (Carol Cox, "Beauty in the eye . . . of the beanpole," Letter, New York Post, January 14, 2010) only for "the obese and the elderly," is prejudice still acceptable. That would mean that persons with disabilities especially those accused of mental illness have no problems with any negative bias. Cox's radar needs to be adjusted.

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/opinion/letters/beauty_in_the_eye_of_the_beanpole_CgyEeaFbtcBx6ZMzwJVXcL

Beauty in the eye . . . of the beanpole
Carol Cox
Letter
New York Post
Last Updated: 3:57 AM, January 14, 2010
Posted: 12:19 AM, January 14, 2010

The last vestiges of prejudice and bigotry in America are reserved for two societal groups: the obese and the elderly ("Fat Chance," Kyle Smith, PostScript, Jan. 10).

Each of us is entitled to our opinion, but "Fat Chance" is full of such vitriol that it absolutely crosses the line from opinion to hate-mongering.

"Shame," Mr. Smith? After reading your article, I am certain that this mantle fits you better than we who enjoy "one milkshake at a time."

Carol Cox
Manhattan

October 14, 2009

Criminal Abuse of Elderly


Taking care of elderly and persons with disabilities is not a sexy job. It is quiet stressful. In addition there are no real advocates for these two forgotten groups who have no political action committees. Consequently they get little attention. Those who provide goods and services are often greedy exploitive predators. The state bussed prison inmates on work release to do overnight duty at mental hospitals resulting in rapes and thefts. Elderly and disabled citizens suffer abuse due to neglect of journalists and politicians, who want rewards for their attention.

http://bostonherald.com/news/regional/view.bg?articleid=1204641

Audit: Mass. should screen elderly care attendants
By Associated Press
Boston Herald
Wednesday, October 14, 2009 -