Josh Billings
[From encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com]
Legacy and attributed quotations
Josh Billings pen name of 19th century American humorist Henry Wheeler Shaw (21 April 1818 – 14 October 1885).
His saying, "In the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money can not buy... to wit the wag of a dog's tail" appears at the beginning of the Disney, Lady and the Tramp.
While the Squeaky Wheel analysis was used in different forms before Billings, his poem, "The Kicker" brought the idiom into common usage of American language. The term "kicker" at the time in the 1800s was another term for a complainer.
The poem is:
I hate to be a kicker,
But the wheel that does the squeaking,
Is the one that gets the grease
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.
Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.
It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those we intend to commit.
It's not ignorance does so much damage; it's knowing so darned much that ain't so.
The trouble with people is not that they don't know, but that they know so much that ain't so.
Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.
Genius ain’t nothing more than elegant common sense
One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.
Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
Man is my brother, and I am nearer related to him through his vices than I am through his virtue.
Friendship is liken earthenware, once broken it can be mended. Love is like a mirror, once broken that ends it.
Occasions are rare; and those who know how to seize upon them are rarer.
It strains a man's philosophy the worst kind to laugh when he gets beat.
Don't have any more secrets than you can keep yourself.
That, men of genius are like eagles, they live on what they kill, while men of talents are like crows, they live on what has been killed for them.
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
One legged chickens, I know, are the least apt to scratch a garden.
I have finally come to the conclusion that a good set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains.
Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since.
Marrying a woman for her money is very much like setting a rat-trap, and baiting it with your own finger.
I wud as soon take a ten dollar kounterfit bill on the Kodfish Bank ov Nufoundland, as tu marry a woman with false hare, false teeth or a false buzzum.
There may come a time when the lion and the lamb will lie down together, but I am still betting on the lion.
Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.
