Making, Keeping Friends

[From article]
They say friends are forever, but as it turns out, that old adage is actually not quite true.
More than two thirds of Americans say they have lost at least 90 per cent of the friends they had 10 years ago.
[. . .]
The poll also shows that you lose more friends when entering into a romantic relationship than when leaving one.
In fact, entering a relationship is the third biggest cause of losing friends – the top two being moving away to a new city and simply drifting apart.
[. . .]
Americans estimate that they have an average of four close friends. Sadly, eight per cent say that they have no close friends at all.
But, surprisingly, people age 55 and up are nearly twice as likely to have over 15 close friends than those between the ages of 18 and 24.
Half of us have fewer close friends than we did a decade ago, and a third think that it’s harder to make friends as you age.
Respondents voted that the hardest part of making new friends is not having enough time, followed by finding people with similar political, religious, cultural and other views, as well as social awkwardness.
[. . .]
'Friendships are important and precious, but the older we get, making and keeping friends becomes more difficult as we juggle competing priorities,' said Nicole Kryda, a spokesperson for Not 4 Dating, which helps people make platonic friends.
'But it’s comforting to know that most of us feel like we are in the same boat. And, in our experience, making new friends is actually easier than you may think,' added Nicole.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3379362/New-study-reveals-two-thirds-Americans-lost-90-cent-pals-course-decade-romantic-relationships-blame.html

Best friends for never: More than two-thirds of Americans have lost 90 per cent of their pals over the course of a decade - and romantic relationships are to blame
The survey of 1,000 people across the country also found that 55% of people have kept the same best friend for 10 years or more
8% of Americans admit to having no close friends at all
The top causes of ending friendships are moving to new cities, drifting apart, and entering into a romantic relationship
By Dailymail.com Reporter
Published: 16:44 EST, 30 December 2015 | Updated: 17:02 EST, 30 December 2015

[Link to video]
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3379362/New-study-reveals-two-thirds-Americans-lost-90-cent-pals-course-decade-romantic-relationships-blame.html#v-6499402371285170370

Best Friends Forever

Two 90-year-old men, Moe and Joe, have been friends all of their lives. When it's clear that Joe is dying, Moe visits him everyday. One day, Moe says, "Joe, we both loved baseball all our lives and we played minor league ball together for so many years. Please do me one favor. When you get to Heaven, somehow, you must let me know if there's baseball there."

Joe looks up at Moe from his death bed, "Moe, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you."

Shortly after that, Joe passes on. At midnight, a couple of nights later, Moe is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, "Moe. Moe."

"Who is it"? asks Moe, sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Moe, it's me, Joe."

"You're not Joe. Joe just died."

"I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice."

"Joe! Where are you?"

"In Heaven," replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."

"Tell me the good news first," says Moe.

"The good news," Joe says "is that there's baseball in Heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play baseball all we want and we never get tired."

"That's fantastic," says Moe. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So, what's the bad news?"

"You're pitching Tuesday."

My Friend

A woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the
patio with her husband, and she says, "I love you so much, I
don't know how I could ever live without you" ... Her husband
asks, "Is that you, or the wine talking?" ... She replies, "It's
me...talking to the wine."

Older Woman Mistakes Friendship for Romance

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/florida/woman-92-goes-ballistic-after-being-denied-kiss-874093

Woman, 92, Goes Ballistic After Being Denied Kiss
Cops: Pensioner fired four shots at home of crush, 53
The Smoking Gun
March 22, 2011

Proud Friends

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party

After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.

Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy.He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel.
He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.'

The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.'

The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire.. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.'

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: 'What are all the congratulations
for?'

One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ..What about your son?'

The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.'

The three friends said: 'What a shame... what a disappointment.'

The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him.
And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.'

Dead Man and Dog walking

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'
'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.
'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.

Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up..'The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveler asked.

'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'

'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'

'How about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the dog.

'There should be a bowl by the pump.'

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the water bowl and took
a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked.

'This is Heaven,' he answered.

'Well, that's confusing,' the traveler said.
'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'

'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'

'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'

'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'